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  • Let her know you are willing to help, but don't force her to talk about it until she is ready.
  • Believe her when she does tell you. 
  • Don't judge her.  Believe that she has done the best she could to protect herself and her children, given the circumstances.
  • Be supportive of whatever course of action she chooses to take.
  • Don't give advice.  Instead, let her know what her options are and who can help her.
  • Remember that she is the expert about her life.  Don't talk her into doing things that aren't right for her or that she is not ready for.
  • Do encourage her to call Safe Shelter. We may be able to help her identify some options that she hasn't thought of.


~ Because 95% of the victims we work with are women, we choose not to use confusing, gender-neutral language when referring to victims.  Be assured that any male victim who seeks our assistance will receive our full support and will be provided the complete range of services available at Safe Shelter.~